So, here we are; the start of a new chapter. My family is entering another phase- an adoption. Two years ago we went through an open adoption, held a leg at the birth of our child baby M, she was handed to me for me to feed and we kept her and loved her. We praised God for her, dressed her, and she happily slept in my arms between feedings. Our room was right next to the birth mom, papers were signed for the baby to be released to us and then the birth mom changed her mind. She changed her mind and we lost our little girl that our children had met and that we loved already. I cannot tell you how much I felt like she was mine.
Lord, why would you have us go through all of this if you were not going to allow us to keep this little girl. Why did my other kids meet her, why did I fall in love with this sweet child?
Only the Father knows the plans for his children. Maybe in another blog I will go into detail about this first adoption but today we are on the cusp of a new adventure. What an adventure it has been already!
Finally ready to jump back into the water after healing from our loss two years ago God began pulling and pulling us closer to “It’s your time now”. Actually, after we lost baby M I could sit in church without the nagging of feeling like I needed to do something more. I had been available but we ultimately did not have the child. So here we sit, God has said your time is now. I am ready, are you ready? Did I hear a voice, no of course not, not audibly but I did know in my spirit that this is the time.
My husband and I waited until 10 years after we were married to have children. We planned on children, we planned on adoption from before our marriage but we waited, finances, work issues, goals to be accomplished. We waited and waited and then it was as if we knew it was time to start our family. I became pregnant after a miscarriage and with the birth of our daughter we were forever changed. Isn’t that what happens to all of us? That was 6 years ago now and here we are with 2 amazing children. Why isn’t that enough? Why do we need more? Why don’t you have more of your own? Why adopt?
YOU MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO DO THAT!
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT!
Believe it or not, I have heard this from people I love and trust. The answer is simple: God has adopted us into His kingdom. Who are we, who have been given so much, to NOT adopt. How could we do anything else? So here we are, in the middle of our home study, working through the minutia in anticipation of what the next step is. For now though, we are being obedient with each small step, moving forward one foot in front of the other.
I hope this blog will “Mark each Mile” along the way.
STEP ONE tomorrow.