So, here we are; the start of a new chapter. My family is entering another phase- an adoption. Two years ago we went through an open adoption, held a leg at the birth of our child baby M, she was handed to me for me to feed and we kept her and loved her. We praised God for her, dressed her, and she happily slept in my arms between feedings. Our room was right next to the birth mom, papers were signed for the baby to be released to us and then the birth mom changed her mind. She changed her mind and we lost our little girl that our children had met and that we loved already. I cannot tell you how much I felt like she was mine.
Lord, why would you have us go through all of this if you were not going to allow us to keep this little girl. Why did my other kids meet her, why did I fall in love with this sweet child?
Only the Father knows the plans for his children. Maybe in another blog I will go into detail about this first adoption but today we are on the cusp of a new adventure. What an adventure it has been already!
Finally ready to jump back into the water after healing from our loss two years ago God began pulling and pulling us closer to “It’s your time now”. Actually, after we lost baby M I could sit in church without the nagging of feeling like I needed to do something more. I had been available but we ultimately did not have the child. So here we sit, God has said your time is now. I am ready, are you ready? Did I hear a voice, no of course not, not audibly but I did know in my spirit that this is the time.
My husband and I waited until 10 years after we were married to have children. We planned on children, we planned on adoption from before our marriage but we waited, finances, work issues, goals to be accomplished. We waited and waited and then it was as if we knew it was time to start our family. I became pregnant after a miscarriage and with the birth of our daughter we were forever changed. Isn’t that what happens to all of us? That was 6 years ago now and here we are with 2 amazing children. Why isn’t that enough? Why do we need more? Why don’t you have more of your own? Why adopt?
YOU MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO DO THAT!
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT!
Believe it or not, I have heard this from people I love and trust. The answer is simple: God has adopted us into His kingdom. Who are we, who have been given so much, to NOT adopt. How could we do anything else? So here we are, in the middle of our home study, working through the minutia in anticipation of what the next step is. For now though, we are being obedient with each small step, moving forward one foot in front of the other.
I hope this blog will “Mark each Mile” along the way.
STEP ONE tomorrow.
Mile Marker 
Well done. May God bless your journey. Shalom.
Thank you sir
I love the whole idea of adoption -perhaps because I have a wonderful adopted brother. God bless your journey.
Thank you, Tell me more about your adopted brother. How did your family decide to adopt?
My brother came as a foster child. As an infant he had many health problems and my mother was a nurse who took care of high-risk babies. This was in about 1960. His mother was a refugee from eastern Europe and intended to take him back when she learned English and found a way to support him, but after two years decided to give him up for adoption. After two years we were very attached. In those days the government insisted that adoptions be secret and since my parents knew his mother’s name the social workers insisted on placing him in another home. My parents went to court to keep him and were one of the first to win custody on the basis of the best interest of the child.
We fully intended to adopt two of our own foster children as well, but when a judge again granted their mother custody she moved to another province and changed the children’s names. (They had been in care for most of their 5 & 6 years and with us for one year.) A year later when we heard a rumour she was doing time (a long stretch) we tried to get them back, but they were lost in system where social workers had far too heavy a load and refused to help us find them. So it doesn’t always turn out well. They would be adults now, and we still pray for them every day.
That gives me chills, thank you for the input. The system is so painful to so many! Do you still have foster children? My very first experience was with a special needs child that I fell in love with- I met while she was in a foster home. She had a stroke as a baby but was gregarious, a cuddle bunny, and so energetic! My husband and I started classes to become foster and adoptive parents. We did this prior to having our own children so it appeared to the “system” that we were there for an easy baby. We told them no, we want this one girl, and she has special needs!!!! We were told 10 years ago that “If we were hear because there was a particular child we wanted to not even try”. That many years ago we were daunted, frustrated, and did not go back. It was not a good experience either. Watching so many friends with children ripped out of their families after years and years of excellent care to be with birth parents that may or may not have really changed has been so painful. It is hard not to be cynical about the whole thing. I asked one of my good friends how they managed it when they lost children after lovingly caring for them for so long- especially when they knew the situation was poor. Their report to me is probably worth an entire post. Nonetheless, the answer is that these children were in their home for the appointed time. Their impact is huge. Your impact was huge in the 5-6 years you had these precious babies. Studies out show that much of a child’s social formation and security is 80% set by the time the child is 3. 3!!!!!! If you can believe that! You were vital in the lives of these children if only for that time. Only on the other side will we know our impact. Thank you for sharing.
We had the children for only one year. Their previous foster mother was unable to keep them due to her age and poor health. We had 24 children in our home over the years (not all at once!) I believe the Bible tells us that true religion is about caring for widows and orphans. No child is more of an orphan than a “temporary orphan”. People don’t want to take foster children because of the pain of becoming attached and then “losing them.” And to be honest it is not always easy to become attached to some traumatized children. Most of the time we knew our mission was to help restore a family, and that even when home life is tough kids would rather be with their own parents if possible. I learned the hard way you cannot love a child and hate their bio parents, because they will always be a part of them. I also had to learn to forgive judges and social workers. I don’t think I could be a social worker in child services. They are caught between parents, relatives, courts and foster parents -all of whom have their own agendas. They often have ridiculously heavy caseloads and no matter what they do very emotional people are angry with them. Tough, tough job.
We no longer have foster kids. We stopped due to health problems and when our own became teenagers we needed to concentrate on them. I am happy to say that all of them love the Lord went into caring professions.
Blessings to you! Thank you for your faithful service! Yes, this is TRUE RELIGION (not the jeans) that we care for widows and orphans. Happy Mother’s Day faithful friend!