People Pleaser Right Here

I like to be liked. I am a people pleaser. I cannot stand it when someone is upset with me. I get anxiety just thinking that I may have offended someone or that I may not be doing something the right way. Since I own a business I have become pretty good at being professional, creating a plan to address issues, and tackling the issues head on but deep down inside I still have that desire to please people. I believe courteousness and the ability to read people and react properly are skills that are developed and I have improved with those over the years and subsequently my ability to please people has evolved. That being said, I am not capable of pleasing everyone and it still bothers me! Ask that friend from college, ask that patient that I had 10 years ago when I first got out of school, ask that more recent friend that I let down. Just this week ask that one person (or two) that didn’t think I came across right.
I could write a bunch right now about how we should aim to please God not man at all times. I know that but what about that verse in Luke where Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man. Kamp Kanakuk calls it the 4 square life. Often times pleasing the Savior will result in better relationships with other people. I guess I have a little bit more work to do to be where I need to be, both to release my hurt feelings and not have hurt feelings in the first place, but to trust God with every issue that may come up.
Enough of my mire….let me show you some cute pics that we haven’t shared

 

The dressy dress is due to attending the service of a beautiful family who lost there daughter after 6 hours of life. What a great time to celebrate her little life.

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Birthday Party for some Friends! What a joy!

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Great times in the foam pit

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Half Serious smile- best he could do!DSC_3388

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Love Yall,

 

SDG

 

Texas in the Spring

It is always a tradition to have Bluebonnet pictures made around the Dillon Household. Even the very first Easter Lexi was standing in snow on the Bluebonnets. Gotta love Texas weather.

Another part of every spring and every April 15 lies TAX DAY. I am not going to delve to deeply into that except to tell you that we have a huge shock with our taxes this year resulting in the Dillon Family returning to a sequestration status. I think I have scared sweet Lexi because we aren’t going out to eat….save 1 meal a week. I am on a spending freeze for everything except necessities. As Dave Ramsey would call it a rice and beans…beans and rice budget.

So, as I got the kids ready to take pictures with our friend Gabrielle Cole she said “Mommy, pictures cost money- can we afford it?” Sweet girl. In reality I had cancelled pictures with Gabrielle let her know that we were not spending money on anything. I mean anything unless it is necessary. Gabrielle was so kind and was willing to go ahead and take our pics for us……We were so thankful and I hope to reward her in the future!

Take time now to visit her blog or to visit her on FB- she is a wonderful baby sitting and photographer. She has reasonable prices and she stays calmer than I do when Luke always decides that the photo time is the time to act like a maniac. Some how he things this is the time to act up. Even if he has been an angel all day. I will never know what it is!

Please send Gabrielle some love and some business for me! She deserves it!

http://gabriellecole.com/

https://www.facebook.com/gabrielle.cole.7161

Anyway….here go the pictures of the Dillon kids.

Angelic? Sweet Baby Happy Boy! Love Him Rowdy.... Oh happy day! Hold Lexi's hand! My Loves My Life My Heart IMG_4935 IMG_4937 IMG_4944 IMG_4942 IMG_4950 IMG_4952 IMG_4954 IMG_4956 IMG_4969 IMG_4967 IMG_4965 IMG_4970 IMG_4975 IMG_4976 IMG_4979 IMG_4988 IMG_4995 IMG_4997 IMG_4991 cropped-img_4935.jpg IMG_4999 IMG_5001 IMG_5014 IMG_5030 IMG_5027 IMG_5041 IMG_5043 IMG_5052 IMG_5038 IMG_5037 IMG_5057 IMG_5059 IMG_5068 IMG_5072 IMG_5076

Thank you sweet friend!

SDG

Welcome to the Family!

I have been away for over a week due to Paul being in Guatemala on a medical mission trip. So much has happened today with a shooting at the local high school and the bombing of the Boston Marathon yesterday. So much to process and I am not really there yet. At times I think “What world will these precious children grow up in?” “What will there life be like 20 years from now?” Do we really want to bring up more kids in this ugly world? Of course the resounding answer is that God is in control. From the first day until now nothing happens that he doesn’t know about. I am going to just post some photos today because I need a little more time to problem solve, meditate, and ruminate through everything. As I said in my last blog, when we found out about Jonathan we could not get him fast enough. I cannot imagine having to wait any longer than we did to get him. I want to share some of our first photo session with him. My children have a special love for their brother. It is amazing!

Photo credit to Kelly Hosch.

I cannot tell you what an amazing man this daddy is. Anyone who knows Paul knows he is something special, something different. I was apprehensive about him going to Guatemala- I will admit it! I don’t want to do life without him and I don’t want these kids to lose him. Selfish, I know. On the other hand, I am glad that we got the rest of our life insurance! (Hey, I am practical!)

Blessed beyond measure Cool Boys! Father son For this Child I have Prayed!

I love my brother. I only have one brother. He is also an amazing man with an equally amazing family. They could easily fill up three blogs with more information than you would want to hear my musings on. They also have an even better story to tell. I didn’t know kids could be as close as these kids are- the love that Lexi and Luke have for their little brother is really something that is new to me. Perhaps because these are a little older (my brother and I are 13 months apart) they wanted Jonathan and appreciate him more than I ever did my brother. This is a new concept for me. They really wanted this little boy!

Bonded! Always Luke 0053 0035 more classic Luke Classic Luke! Lexi's Loving! Sibling Love!

Luke- oh heavens! That child has such energy! Remember how I DID NOT want a BOY! Wow, I sure would have missed out on God’s amazing blessing. Even now he is my sleeping buddy. Don’t judge, I know you are supposed to kick the kids out of the bed- we don’t do the whole co-sleeper thing- but since Jonathan has been here our sleeping arrangements have been a little different. Paul sleeps by the monitor in the living room (did I mention he snores) Lexi in “grandma’s bed” and Luke with me. I love just being able to touch his foot as he sleeps or waking up with his foot or arm over my face and listening to his little snores. Boy how I love that boy!

My Love Mischief....Constant I love this kid

Lexi, my doll baby! She has a heart of gold, gift from God, just like my mother in law, or a girl version of her daddy. Modest, caring, loving, she cares about her friends, the feelings of others, and she really desires to be a little mother. More on her spirit and what she is teaching me soon.

0061 0052 Shine Girl! Grace Gentle kisses love

Brotherly love- I will do a whole post on this one! I was so busy with hearing Lexi wanting a sister I never even stopped to realize (until after we had him) how much Luke needed a brother or how special this relationship would be. Jonathan will laugh at Luke more than anyone else. Luke can come up and dance for him and he kicks and tries to dance, Lexi comes up-he smiles. Luke, he jumps out of his seat almost, Lexi again- a little giggle. Really, Jonathan has picked his favorite- it isn’t mommy or daddy- it is LUKE!

Smile! Flying Baby- as Dad says He still has that kind of confused look! How Deep the Father's Love for Us! I love you my son!

I get the privilege of mothering this child!

So, this is our new family. Now we are 5!

Now we are 5! 0036 I love how Lexi is climbing on daddy! 0056 Our new family

A little part of this picture is missing. I would so love for Jonathan’s bio mom to know what an amazing gift she has given us. We haven’t met her and haven’t been able to tell her Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you! I hope we will someday!

Run on!

Jonathan Thomas

After we got the call “We have a little boy”. This one is ours. He is ours? He is for us? You mean, for real? For so long we have been praying for embryos, birth moms, babies, siblings, etc., and this one is actually ours?

A wave of emotion that I did not expect flooded over me. Could I do a good job taking care of this child? I had no doubt with KK. This one I did not know, I had not planned on, and we weren’t expecting.  Could we afford it? This adoption would be a lot more expensive than the embryo adoption. There were a few hours of tears, possibly the release of emotions that we were finally going to get to keep a baby but also a doubt in myself that I was capable. That being said, the question very quickly became “How quick can we get him here”.  I now understood the longing that every adoptive family feels when they have been placed with a child that they know is theirs however they are on the other side of the world. Our child could have been in Egypt he seemed so far away. In reality he was only two hours away but we wanted him NOW! A part of our family was somewhere else- he belonged here- in this home. It happens just that fast with adoption. I think that God changes our chemistry and creates bonds like this.  We weren’t exactly in the clear yet. He was ours, mother’s rights had been terminated, but the original adoptive mother had not actually signed the documents to release the Child Placement Center from their contract with her. It was only 10 days from December 9th until we had him in our home on December 19th but it felt like an eternity! The mom never got back to the agency so they had to send her a legal paper that let her know that she was released. I don’t know all of the exact issues and legaleez but we didn’t like waiting! I think the concern was that we would lose this one too! We had been through this and we just wanted him with us- where he belonged.

Here are some pictures of his Gotcha day where we were able to bring Jonathan home. This was the first time we had ever even seen him in person.

The kids had to wait while we signed all the forms.

The kids had to wait while we signed all the forms.

Loving on Julie!

Loving on Julie!

First Look at Him

First Look at Him

First Touch and cuddle

First Touch and cuddle

More Cuddles!

More Cuddles!

Lexi's card for Jonathan

Lexi’s card for Jonathan

Just happy mommy

Julie wants cuddles too

Julie wants cuddles too

Sweet Sleep

Sweet Sleep

Reading JT the card

Reading JT the card

Family attention

Family attention

Always close by

Always close by

Luke reading JT the card

Luke reading JT the card

Precious Father Son Moment

Precious Father Son Moment

Can't get enough

Can’t get enough

Can you see the Beam in his eye?
Can you see the Beam in his eye?

Something was funny

Something was funny

Final Good Bye Fabulous Foster Family

Final Good Bye Fabulous Foster Family

Our new family!

Our new family!

Praise Him From Whom All Blessing’s Flow! We were going to have the BEST Christmas Gift ever!

Behind the Scenes

               As I previously blogged we matched with 5 embryos 2pn stage. That means that these embryos were fertilized and then frozen immediately (Day 2 hence 2pn). There are a variety of types of embryos based on how old they are and how they are frozen- slow freeze or fast freeze (called vitrification).  Embryos that live longer in the petri dish- grow to be 3 days old or 5 or even 6 days old tend to have a better chance of survival. We didn’t know this at the time we matched with those embryos. I thought I had done enough research (obviously a little more might have been helpful) and heavens- there were five of them. Not everything was said and done on October 1st though when we received that email. Following the initial match there were further tests and blood tests and things seemed to take an unusually long time even when December came around we were still “in process”. We thought it would happen- I am still not quite sure why things stayed in process so long. Contracts to sign, blood work to be done (infectious disease) and just hold ups.

Let me back up here before I fully go into December. At our home study the last August the social worker asked us if we were open to a baby. We said that there was no way we could say no. Knowing our history we were reluctant to get involved with birth moms. That being said, they did go ahead and tell us about different birth moms that were looking in to adoption. I will withhold some of the emotion roller coaster even from the slightest hint that there might be a baby. All these months learned about their lullaby home. This is a temporary foster home where infants go immediately from the hospital to stay until their permanent family can come get them. Child Placement Center works with several families overseas and so sometimes the babies have to stay in this home for a small amount of time. We knew that they had a little boy and a little girl that were waiting for their adoptive parents. Thanksgiving came and the little girl went home. December 9th rolled around and I received a phone call the little boy (Finn) was still in their foster home. Something was potentially wrong with his original adoption. I had a hard time believing it, no way were we actually going to be able to adopt a little boy.

After all that we had experienced it was actually going to happen?

What about the embryos?

What should we do?

What in the world was God doing?

Ohhhhhh- a baby for Christmas!

Could we dare hope?

When all our dreams were coming true (It seems God was giving us the desires of our hearts- another child) I personally had a type of insecurity, a little mini crisis……

More on that tomorrow.

Have a great evening!

More on the Process

               I will come back to Part 3 and Part 4 of why we chose embryos in the future but I would like to digress to part of the process for just a little while if it is ok. As I said in a previous post- October 1st 2012 we found a match with 5 embryos. Prior to this however we were matched with a family that had 2 embryos. They were a wonderful family and Paul and I struggled and struggled praying over if this was “the one” for our family. There were several things that we looked at. Some of them were not, in hindsight, issues at all. At the time though, they mattered. For example, this family had two wonderful boys. We worried “What if we have a girl and they haven’t had a girl?” How would that be for them? Would they be sad that we were able to have a girl and they could not? Our social worker assured us that the family was very pleased with their current family and that their family was complete- they would be delighted whether we had boys or girls. I am not even sure why that mattered. I wonder however if it was just a cover because my real underlying concern was “If they had two boys maybe both of the embryos are boys and we have no chance at a girl”- Isn’t that silly! We are thankful for life, and life in general- why would it matter what sex the child is. As I have said before- this is something I am still in process of working out. Maybe it is because Lexi is so wonderful, but yet, we have not hit the tweens or the teens yet. I know ultimately, whatever we are given we will love and enjoy. I also pray even now for my future son in laws and daughter in laws. I think that is one of my bigger concerns with boys- you lose them to their wives. People always say that girls stick closer to home. I know it is true in our family. That being said, I have the BEST mother in law- a mother in law that Lexi takes after exactly. I am so blessed that she does! The second and probably largest reason that we did not adopt the first set of embryos that we matched with was because they were Jewish. I really thought that it would be an honor, a joy to have a child who was Jewish. Since we are Christian we have a great respect for the Jewish faith. One is Jewish by blood and heritage not because of a decision they make. Paul and I would want this child to go through all the rights, the rituals, the sacred ceremonies of a Jewish child. We would owe that to that child to honor his origin as well as his birthright. Paul and I just didn’t think that we had the ability to make sure that all of those activities were met by us. It would have been an honor and privilege to be a part of that community and it was very attractive to us- part of what made us want to adopt those 2 children but ultimately we felt that God had something else for us.

Because that was our first match, I cannot tell you how hard it was to let go. Would someone else want us? We know that this is a match- would we match again? What would our next match be like? Saying no to those embryos was very hard. I guess it is important for me to write about saying no because I want to make sure that people know that it is ok. The perfect match is out there. The right one is there, it is ok if there is a diffuse feeling of “this just isn’t right and I don’t know why”. We didn’t have very good reasons for saying no, it just wasn’t right.

We are excited about this Easter. We attended and LOVED the UMHB Easter pageant yesterday. This was Luke’s first time to really sort of understand. He just kept saying “Mommy hold me” and “when are the bad guys coming”. Then at the very end he was upset and hurt at what they were doing to Jesus, then joyful over him coming back from the tomb, and then cried (hard) when he didn’t get to high five Jesus. It was one of those contorted ugly cries- I think more from the heavy emotion of it all not so much from the high five but I am not sure. Either way, it was my first time to attend however Lexi’s 4th. I think it will need to be a new tradition.  Reverent Maundy Thursday to you- Sunday is coming!

Why adopt embryos? Part 2- Working Parts

There are many reasons people adopt. I hear this wording lately of “growing your family through adoption”. I am not sure exactly what that means- it isn’t like a garden where we plant tomatoes and see what grows. We personally are not “growing a family” as if acquisition was the objective. Perhaps I am misreading here but for some reason it is just sort of an odd statement. Another odd statement was recently stated to me in an interview regarding embryo adoption from a researcher in England. They do not have embryo adoption in England so it is a novel thing to them. He stated “Ok, so it is kind of like you want to be a savior”. That bugged me too. No, I don’t want to be a savior, there is only one of those. God is big enough without me to manage every single one of His children that he loves. He doesn’t need me or my womb. He can do it without me. So why in the world would we do something like this on purpose? 

I can only speak for myself (and occasionally my husband) regarding this issue. If you have read any of this blog you know that we had a difficult situation with the loss of a little girl in a private adoption. That made a huge impression on us. Why not adopt from Africa or Hati or any one of the thousands of children in orphanages that don’t have homes; that are going to grow up alone without a family? Why not adopt a child from here- out of the foster system? All of these are needed and necessary ways of adopting- every adoption is hard, it is not for those who would like it easy. A friend of mine sent out a message to several friends who had all adopted recently asking about the agency they used and what were their thoughts. It was amazing to me that every single answer revealed a different adoption agency as well as a different path. There are so many ways to adopt it is amazing. One friend who used one agency at first was using a different agency the second time. I digress.

In short, we chose embryo adoption because we can do something that not everyone who wants to adopt can. I have “working parts” and we have the ability to adopt in this way- a way that not everyone can. I asked Paul one time “This isn’t like real adoption; it isn’t like there is a child in an orphanage that needs a home”.  Embryo adoptions are technically “tissue transfers” similar to an eye lens, kidney donation, or any other organ transplant. These children do not have rights in the eyes of the law- they are just tissue.  As I wrestled with this a year or so ago and discussed it with Paul. Ever the fluent one he stated “Are you telling me that a child frozen in liquid nitrogen is not a life without a home?” “I would argue that this is a child in need of a home just as much as any other child that is currently in a mother’s belly or in an orphanage.” I don’t know, I am not sure I would go that far but I am still trying to work it out but I do know that I can carry and give birth to a child when not everyone is given this gift, why wouldn’t God call us to adopt this way? We are somewhat unusual in the embryo community because we have children (I don’t know any statistics for that). I have conceived, carried and given birth to my children with only one miscarriage. Frequently embryo adoption is a means for a family who has not been able to conceive their own children to allow them to experience the joy of pregnancy and birth of their own adopted child. Why does embryo adoption appear to be restricted to those who have not been able to obtain pregnancy by traditional means? It shouldn’t! I challenge that the life in that freezer is just as much a life as any other orphan. There is one difference- in this case technology has created this life. No one in the third world is performing In Vetro Fertilization, this is largely a created problem. Lives are created that are then stored and frozen until they are either used for research or transferred to a mother. I can’t imagine any family that has been through IVF and struggled to create life only to later say “Oh, we were just kidding- they really aren’t children, they were just groups of cells”. Every mother that has undergone IVF and has had a child or children as a result knows that this is indeed a child not an nondescript group of cells.

So the second reason we chose adopt embryos is because we have working parts and that in itself is a gift from God.

Holiness without the Halo

Holiness withotu the halo

Holiness

Holiness, what a word. Lexi and Luke (6 and 4) can never remember the meaning despite several attempts at instruction on this topic. It is somewhat difficult for a young one to understand. Goodness, it is difficult for adults to understand never mind children. So here is the object lesson that finally drove it home………

My 4 year old is really funny but then again, aren’t all moms biased to the humor in their own children? A couple of weeks ago everyone was tired after Sunday school, Lexi was hungry, mom and dad were extended and only Lukie was raring to go. As we exited the children’s wing of the church my “spirited” son began to whine “But mommy, what about worship”…….He continued to fuss and pitch and whine that we were not going to “worship”. Sweet Lexi (understanding that the service would mean that we wouldn’t make it to her beloved Mazzios that day) put her arm around Luke and rightly stated “Lukie, we can worship in the car, on the way to Mazzios……We don’t have to be IN the worship SERVICE”. Of course I am not sure that she was thinking about coming in to an intimate time with her Savior in the car to pizza restaurant all of 2 miles away but she does understand that there are many kinds of worship. As we exited those plate glass doors I looked at Paul and the decision was made- how would we or should we deny our 4 year old worship? In all honesty, Luke loves the music, particularly the drums and he really would prefer to stay in the service for just the music part then slip out. We do this sometimes, and I think it is necessary at times. I have no condemnation on those that stay for one service nor do I believe those that religiously attend both are any better or worse than others. There is however, blessings in corporate worship beyond the fact that we have been commanded to take part in it. There is a discipline, a soothing comfort in the ritual of meeting with a church body for worship.  So yesterday, we headed for the service, sat down front and to the right, like we always do and Lexi’s attitude soured more and more as we got closer to our seats. Luke, on the other hand, was joyful. As we arrived at our seats Lexi continued to frown all the more due to my not having pen or pencil for the children’s bulletin so she could at least “entertain herself”. As we began the musical part of worship each child wanted to be held. At 6 and 4 I wonder when they will stop wanting to be held through music. I don’t mind it though, they will grow up soon enough. Luke enraptured by the drums did his best to sing along in his daddy’s arms, Lexi (after a nudge from mom regarding the need for a heart change) sulked and turned to worship along with us. She can read now, so the ability to sing along is improved. In all honesty, the kids were not trying to misbehave they were just simply tired and I was pushing them at least another hour away from their beloved alfredo pizza that awaited them at Mazzios.

I knew we would have a guest speaker today, our pastor had facebooked it. I am likely the only person that wanted to hear the guest speaker as a result of our pastor’s facebook post! In any case, here we were about to hear from the 82 year old Stuart Briscoe. You can read his bio here:

http://www.tellingthetruth.org/about/Bios/Stuart.aspx

Jill and Stuart

Of course, I had heard his name however I had not read any of his books. I knew that he was not unknown to our church and that his wife was ministering in the prison about 40 miles from our town. Stuart assumed the stage and began to speak in an old English accent. There is just something about people from England and the way they speak that automatically draws you in. This, and the classic story that we all know of the little girl in Sunday School whose teacher describes a squirrel and asks the class what she is talking about. Of course, the Sunday School answer for everything is “Jesus”. Paul and I have even been known to say “I think it’s a squirrel but I am going to say Jesus” when an answer is obvious. Lexi, on the other hand, had not heard this story. She was able to settle and listen (praise the Lord I didn’t have a pen) and I look to my right and Luke has comfortably laid his head on his father’s chest and the two of them drifted peacefully to sleep. Their sweet little snores bringing snickers to our friends just in front of us. No matter, they had worshiped- Luke in the way that he wanted to, and Lexi was in for a treat.

You can hear his sermon by following this link:

http://www.templebiblechurch.org/sermon_downloads

and I urge you to find an hour and listen. Some of what he said will likely not be translated into voice because it was the hand demonstration that left the indelible impression in Lexi’s mind.

What is holiness? Adults will likely rattle off “set apart” and indeed that is what I had been trying to have Lexi remember- We are set apart for God’s purposes. Mr Briscoe used several other phrases and methods of explaining holiness. The one that sank in with Lexi and that she continued to do for the rest of the day was the image of a man who has “cut his finger off”. I guess this is a common thing for grandpa’s to fold down one finger and pretend like it is gone, and to the wonder and amazement of their grandchildren, they can replace said thumb or finger with the slip of the wrist. You all remember that gesture?

 

thumb

Other than being set apart, holiness actually means “cut off”, the verb to cut, as in the thumb being off the body. The church is “cut off” from the world. Another Stuartism (or Briscoeism) that I really like is that we are “something else”. Those in Christ are “something else” entirely. Of course, none of us are made perfect and we continue to pursue holiness day by day but in stature and countenance we are “cut off” from the world. Later, at aforementioned Mazzios, I asked Lexi (and Luke who had sweetly slept through the whole thing) what it meant to be holy. Putting her hand up and showing her daddy (who had just as sweetly slept as well) how her thumb was missing she said “set apart, cut off”. “What does that mean?” I asked her. With a shoulder shrug she said “I am not sure”. We further discussed this being cut off and set apart. What she can’t understand at 6 I pray will become clearer and clearer to her as she gets older, I pray the seeds of this sermon will bring forth fruit later in life.

I am very thankful for the object lesson in the humor of Stuart. I hope you will take time to enjoy him (with your children) as well.

Here is a link to buy the book:

http://www.amazon.com/Holiness-without-the-Halo-ebook/dp/B0076C6MMU

In conclusion, how did Mr. Briscoe say we are to continue to become holy? Well, ultimately it may just come back to that age old Sunday School answer.

Jesus

Specifically the passage of

1 Peter 1:13-25

Be Holy

13 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. 14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”[a]

17 Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. 18 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors,19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21 Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24 For,“All people are like grass,and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;the grass withers and the flowers fall,25 but the word of the Lord endures forever.”[c]

And this is the word that was preached to you.

I will get back to the adoption progress tomorrow, until then……

Keep Running!

No Boys Allowed!

      “Please dear Lord, don’t let me have a boy!”    

These were the words I naïvely said when my little girl was two and I found out that I was pregnant with my second. Boys were never in our plans. Why you may ask?  Daughter in laws…. I didn’t want to fall in love with my little boy rear him to adulthood only to be surmounted by a young girl who now gets all his attention. Selfish huh? Yes, but absolutely true- we had planned to have all girls. Of course, God had other plans for us and His plans are perfect.

About 4 years ago I was working with Jr High Youth at my church. I was pregnant with a baby- about 14 weeks and I would find out that week what I was having. This baby too was a girl; I had fixed my mind that boys were not in the plans for us! I wanted sister dresses, girls to play together, everything in our house was pink, play kitchens, bunnies, dress up, flowers, pink cars, and pink toothbrushes. Pink Pink Pink Pink! Let me return to my morning in our youth building- we had a guest worship band that morning. They were high school students and really good. My eyes moved from the drummer to the lead singer to the bass player and the guitar. Each one of these boys, I’m sorry young men, was a Godly example to their peers. These boys were making good decisions, using their gifts to Praise the Lord and they were leading others, even though they were youth. I kept watching the drummer, the son of my physician, one of 7, he has the stature of someone years ahead of himself (maybe because of his older brothers, I don’t know). I don’t know him, I worked with the girls, however he was the example that God used in my heart to let me know it was all ok and his will is perfect. As I watched this drummer I held my growing tummy, closed my eyes to sing and I knew, in an instant, this child was a little boy. Not only did I know the sex of the child but I knew that it WOULD be just fine. Tears filled my eyes with thanksgiving for the work of the Lord. After church I told my husband that we would be having a boy and it was confirmed a few weeks later with an ultrasound that indeed it was a boy, and he was PROUD of it! From that moment on I was excited to have my boy.

This boy is definitely a world away from his sister- even if he did play with pink toys for the first year of his life. He acts nothing like her. He is grumpy, loud, busy, and amazingly gifted in electronics. Not only that, but he LOVES his mother. There is nothing like the love of a son, he wants to snuggle and cuddle and he is ALL about mommy! I am not sure where the next part of this story goes but for now my son is our DJ (with his Ipad) and he loves music. Every morning at church my son pulls and tugs my hand to go IN to the service. He is a 3 year old who is off the growth chart of a 5 year old and clearly cannot sit through a service but he wants to go.

What has this little boy mesmerized?

WORSHIP MUSIC

No lie, this little one has an affinity for music, he is constantly playing with his guitar, drumming on a drum pad or hitting anything and everything with his drumstick. He is even drawn to the piano. This mother’s day, as I sat with my big boy on my lap he intently watched the musicians, as he does every Sunday morning. I don’t have some big meaning to all of this except the wonder of our Savior- giving us exactly what we need when we need it. This little boy radically revolutionized my heart; he won it with his tenderness, his enthusiasm, and his loving spirit. I am SO THANKFUL that God had a plan to allow me to have this little boy. How silly I was to ever want to miss this blessing.

Baby dedication was also this morning and as I sit and watch the sweet babies, I cannot help but look to the future- what will it look like next year? Will we have another part of our family? Will we still be waiting? What will our home look like? One thing that I can tell you is I want more of both- boys and girls! Will God give us siblings? Who knows!  One other thing I know for sure is I trust the HIM who formed me in my mother’s womb and every day was written in His book before one of them came to be.

Praise Him From Whom All Blessings Flow.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Step 1: Conviction

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

Convictions come with passion. It is easy to have a extreme conviction for your favorite sports team. Ever visited a Texas vs. OU weekend in Dallas? You will see conviction.

Split half orange and half red

Ever tuned in to some hockey or football games where crazed fans dance mostly naked with their head/chest/body painted with their chosen colors? I am a girl who can hardly invest the time in watching a football game that we really want to win because of the heartbreak and pain of losing. Am I competitive? No, never…..ok, yeah for sure. I also don’t like feeling bad when we lose so I would rather just not invest the time than watch some game just to feel bad afterward. Of course, in the case of a grand win, I also miss out on the celebration. Usually I can hear it, in the other room- especially if my father is in the house- he yells so loud I think the neighbors can hear him. That kind of conviction is easy when you are supporting a team- how can we be fanatic about a football/soccer/hockey game but not about what we believe.

What do I believe?

  1. Jesus is God who loves me so much he died for me, and he loves me personally.
  2. Jesus desires all to come to know Him, and wants a personal relationship with them.
  3. He adopted me into His family.

Galatians 4:4-7 Message

4-7But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.

This conviction, for our family, results in some behavior similar to that of the fans of the Georgia Bulldogs above, or the Sooner and Longhorn crazed fans that split the Cotton Bowl in half. Sure, we don’t run around with paint on our heads, body, and face but we make decisions some might call just as weird.  Stick around- I am sure that I will share some of our “weirdness” with you. Why wouldn’t all our convictions lead us straight to action? Violently  waving and cheering for  a sports team is normal but spending money, time, and treasure on an adoption is not nearly as common place. In our case, we have children, and I am asked all the time: Why would you adopt instead of having another baby- as if adoption is relegated to those who cannot BIRTH their own children. The answer to this question every single time is

CONVICTION

We have decided what we believe.

What do you believe?

Tell me about it.